How exciting it is to welcome a new member of the family from a shelter or a rescue group. The adoptee needs plenty of adaptation time to adjust to his or her new life. At first they may have performance stress to meet the expectations of their new people. Being up beat and cheerful may not come easily as they navigate the new environment and sort out residual emotions from the past. No matter what the situation it is important to get their history straight to ease them into their new life. Fortunately, through nonverbal communication we can uncover what happened before you and your new BFF found each other and gain valuable insights. I love helping with this and learning about the positive results when I call back later. Two recent rescue examples come to mind.
Rocco
Rocco a two and a half year old American Bully and Niko an eleven year old, domestic cat are excellent examples of how ferreting out their past reveals the “why” in their behavior and puts everyone at peace.
I was impressed, he was strong, gorgeous and so well behaved as he came up the steps to my office. He explored the area a bit and went in. Then I watched as he smelled everything, took stock and calmly settled down by Laura, his person. Quite the gentleman, this Rocco.
He is a stunning pure bred American Bully. He had been roaming the streets, was dirty but not underweight when he was brought in. After a short time in the shelter he moved on to a foster home in August of this year. Good natured he was adopted twice and returned to the foster. He couldn’t be left alone without barking up a storm in the first family and the landlord of the second home didn’t allow dogs.
His foster, Laura, who had him on and off for six months, decided to keep him. Her veterinarian and two other people suggested it would be helpful to find out a bit more about him and gave her my name. It turns out, when consulted, this people friendly, well trained dog companion revealed his emotional pain, hidden behind the friendly canine who won people’s hearts and admiration everywhere he went.
In the consult we found out Rocco had been a “trophy dog” for a person who saw him strictly as a way of showing off. The dog was a means to enhance the person image to others. He was big, powerful, beautiful and the man was “in control” through the training and took pleasure in putting on a show. Love did not enter the picture. Rocco shared bluntly: the individual’s behavior towards him was self centered. We don’t know exactly why this expensive purebred was abandoned and ended roaming the streets, but the circumstance gave him a springboard to a better life.
Once the history about himself started to come out he literally opened up during the session, for example, he said he didn’t want to be as social and friendly on walks. At least for the time being. He wanted more of a private one on one connection with his new person “She must tell me everyday that she is keeping me. I am so concerned someone will come for me, someone who likes my looks. I was adopted (bought) for my looks.” I replied you are very handsome indeed, and he answered: “Only for Laura, only for her…I am finally at peace with Laura, she gets me.” Then suddenly, gone was the restrained behavior, this big boy started to jump, play, bark like a puppy. Obviously, up to then he had lived “shut down”. Now, he burst forth in pure unbridled joy. To his person’s surprise he chewed right through his leash! He had never done anything naughty in the six months she knew him. I explained not to worry he would relive his puppyhood properly a few weeks for a fresh start in life with her. He knew perfectly well how to be a good dog, he just needed a bit of a break and a new start/rebirth with his forever person in his forever home. And so he did. Laura confirmed a few weeks later. The puppylike behavior lasted a short time, just enough for an emotional do-over in a loving environment. He is well mannered and trained and a pleasure to walk. The left over challenge is working through his distress when left at home alone with the help of a trainer. I do not doubt success, Laura is totally committed to building his confidence in that department. They are meant for each other.
Laura and Rocco
